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ARRANGED MARRIAGE

March 20, 2014

We are talking about romantic relationship. In our society, marriages are arranged by the families. Of course, young people have flings, live-in relations and love marriages  but since marriage is union of not only two individuals but two families, families and extended families all have a say.                                                                                                                                                                                                       The union through the holy wedding ceremony is said to last for seven reincarnations. Two strangers meet (they maybe known to each other or even related), get to know each other during courtship period. After marriage, they learn to live together and the families and yet maintain their individuality. Soon they become parents, face ups and downs. They have common goals. They grow up and old together, learning about the other more like the unfurling of petals of a flower.                                                                                                              With passing time and elders gone, they assume more responsibilities.                                                                                                              My husband’s uncle and my father had a common friend. Our families met first and then with our families my husband and I met at another of my father’s friend (because we lived in different cities). We are now in the 26th year of our marriage and today 20th March, 26 years ago,we had met for the first time.DSCN1774 I hope to celebrate our 50th anniversary together just as my parents did more than 2 years ago.

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13 Comments
  1. Wishing you a very happy anniversary 🙂

  2. Happy meeting aniversary.

  3. I understand the point of our marriage is arranged by our family. Although, mine was not arranged, but there were some requirements to be fulfilled. The most significant is our caste is the same.

    • India has such diverse cultures. Caste is an important factor. Other than that,in some communities,marriage is solemnised between a girl and a cousin or uncle (except first cousins) but in some communities,marriage between members of same gotra or mother’s gotra (descendants in unbroken male line from a common male ancestor) or even same village leads to murders, mayhem, social boycott as it is considered incestous. I read Bali,1938, it is a lovely story but I want to know if the girl is kept secluded,how does she get marriage proposals? Do they not go to school or market or attend festivities?

      • My grandma joined a kind of homeschooling. Girls at that time, got their marriage proposal through a ceremony that was celebrated when girls already got their menstruation. The ceremony was also an ‘announcement’ to families with young boy to prepare their proposal. No. My grandma didn’t go to the market. Housemaids did that. Activity was restricted in the past for female of royal family. My grandma was a royal family member and my grandpa was a brahman. Although you didn’t ask…I’m married to a brahman also. Thank you for your interest to my culture. I do appreciate that!

  4. Just want to elaborate my previous answer. Meraja Sewala (the traditional ceremony) for the girl was done before than she kept secluded. This day, we still celebrate that ceremony, not as an ‘announcement’, but more for a religious purpose.

  5. Fascinating to read of different ways of finding a life long partner. I am now married to a man I have known all my life, which makes talking of the past wonderful, especially as we get older and our short term memories are fading!

    • Lovely reading about you. Whether we are childhood sweethearts or meet at any time of life, more important is how we live together. The sweetest memories are those which we create together. Wishing you both a happy long life together.

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